FOMO or fear of missing out

FOMO - fear of missing out - the name is more often heard in English, but the anxiety that you may miss interesting events in which other people will participate is probably familiar. This state is now associated especially with what we see on social media. However, if we look back and examine situations when there were no social networks yet, we can probably detect the beginnings of all this in the collective subconscious and parental nurturing.

So why are we so afraid of missing out on something and feel anxious about it?

Let's start with the fact that we often heard in our childhood - "be good, you will get candy", "do it, then I will buy it" - our natural right to unconditional love was limited, because parents and those around us set conditions for it. At the same time, our parents tried to "earn" love for themselves through us. Do you remember situations when you were forced to behave nicely in public so as not to embarrass parents and others would think that your mother/father was perfect because they raised their children perfectly? These are the first steps in forming the belief that if you don't behave according to others' expectations, you are unworthy of love.

Moreover, most likely, some of you have had to attend kindergarten performances with a runny nose, because, according to your mother, how else will the performance take place without you. Going to tests with a fever, because it is embarrassing to do tests separately from the whole class. Even later, it was normal for a sick person to go to work, because nobody else will do the assignments, and, of course, they cannot wait. This is how we try to prove our worth throughout life and be visible, because we are taught to do so - this is what our parents and grandparents did, such is the established attitude of society. The peak of all this is the funeral - when complete strangers gather to honor the deceased, because they were invited. Only it is not clear who invited them and why...just for the sake of appearances, because the deceased no longer matters. And the funeral is the place where news from all over the world spreads, so how can you miss such an important event.

All this leads to the fact that even without information from social media, people were forced, or later forced themselves, to participate in activities just to prove their worth. And this belief is still among us. Social networks have only exacerbated the problem, because the information that reaches us about the multitude of events and places where others are visiting, pushes us into a corner to be there too. What if I'm not there? Will my recognition and value be buried? After all, we don't know any other way of self-recognition.

Anxiety often comes to the rescue here, caused by the fear of missing out on something. Because anxiety is often related to future events, and what if... That's why we constantly check your phone messages, keep checking to see if someone has written. Maybe you've even had the experience of sleeping badly before one or another important event? You're afraid that the alarm clock won't go off. Later, sleep problems can recur every night, because the brain is in a constant active "state of participation". And next to that, from the huge pace, fatigue and burnout can occur, because according to our beliefs, we have to do everything and participate in everything ourselves, just to stay the coolest. Until our body says stop so harshly that it's impossible to hear.

Then serious professional help is needed.

Don't let yourself reach that limit, examine the situations in which you experience a state of FOMO, let yourself feel why it is so. Be authentic, participate only where you want, create a circle of people around you who really matter to you.

How can hypnotherapy help? You feel afraid, but you don't understand why. You want to stop, but you can't. Sometimes limiting digital tools alone may not help. Then, returning to the subconscious through hypnosis can answer questions and create steps to get out of it. Don't be alone with your anxiety, remember that there are always people ready to listen to you.